She is ready for a relationship, thats why she tried it, just not with YOU. She was in love with her ex, and you were a rebound. She used you to break it off with her ex, because compared to him at the time, you seemed to be someone she would be a better match with. Probably because she didnt want to be alone. She didnt want to feel the hurt of her breakup and deal with it alone, so she thought you could make her forget about her ex and sweep her off her feet.
Holy moly, a true angel has decended upon us! Yowzers!
It is all about living life and experiences..
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If you haven't moved out of where you are living with him, do so as soon as possible. Do what you can to cancel the wedding plans & get back as much of the deposits as possible. Notify people that the wedding is off so they don't make travel plans.
I know this is hard. But, take the following advice from someone who did marry into a less dramatic but similar situation: the ex wife and children will always be there; things will get more difficult as the children get older and their needs change; and, if she remains this angry, she will find one way or another to insert herself into and sabotage your relationship.
Basically, there's nothing about your post that bodes well. For your own sake, focus on finding a local girl.
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DON'T sleep with her. Do anything and everything else like going out on dates, just hanging out, talk, kiss, but don't try and take it any farther. Let her make the move whenever she feels she's ready. Just show her you'll be there with her no matter what. Don't talk to or date other girls while trying to date her. Be nice and honest and in time she'll see you really DO want to be with her!
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